NOT A Good Idea - Making Smoke

[Colin Morgan]

Fed up with constantly being tailgated in my Ruby by large BMWs and even larger SUVs, I have taken a leaf out of a WW1 Naval Operations manual and can now make smoke at will.  A lever mounted under the dash releases old engine oil straight onto the exhaust. 

   

This produces a big cloud in no time.  Amazing how effective it is - makes them pull back straight away. 

   



 

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This was the view back down the local A57 the first time I tried it - not a car in sight.  Success?

Installation was easy and is reversible - it took less than an hour and cost less than a tenner.

[Steve kay]

Well done for the first recorded installation of Trojan engine into an Austin Seven. It can only be a Trojan unless you have carried out some amazing surgery and put two cylinders of a Daimler sleeve valve engine under the bonnet. Either way, can we see the pictures please.

[Colin Morgan]

No - it's still got its original 'smokeless' engine - the smoke generator is extra - a soldered bean-can and an old radiator tap and not much else.

[Duncan Grimmond]

This takes me back to my teenage years...a pal had a 5cwt Ford van into which he installed an old ReDeX pump which injected into a nipple in the exhaust manifold. We would sit at traffic lights, give a squirt and watch a "waterline" of smoke wreathe its way up the sides and then blast off in a cloud on the green light. Happy days!

[squeak]

Also takes me back to my teenage years. I had an NSU Sport Prinz, rear engine 650cc air cooled 2 cyl. During a long fast  corner I happened to glance in the rearview and saw a 2 storey cloud that covered the road. Thinking I had blown the motor I pulled over to discover the open oilcan in the capacious rear had tipped over and dumped a pint onto the muffler.

 

[John Mason]

Very good Colin but is it legal. I seem to think that somewhere in the back of my mind there is an offence of creating excessive smoke.

John Mason.

[Malcolm Parker]

All the above smoke stories pale into insignificance when one of the floating gudgeon pins in my Ulsteroid special gouged a groove in the cylinder during a trip to the Scottish Highlands. I changed the late cylinder head with an early head that had 18mm plugs to keep it going. It  ended up doing 20 miles to the gallon of oil.   It would still run and I set off on the way back to North Yorkshire, stopping in the Kwik Save in Kelso to buy a trolley load of cheap oil which at the time was £1.99 a gallon.   I blasted over Carter Bar with Andy Hastings following in his similar Ulsteroid.  Unfortunately he broke the crank trying to keep up by the Otterburn ranges and we both got a lift back home courtesy of the AA and RAC.  Having followed in my smoke screen, Andy and the car looked black.  Happy days.

[Colin Morgan]

The main problem from my point of view is having to drive everywhere in a mask:


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And there is still the problem of the terrible smell of smoke on my clothes when I get back.  So I am planning to try some better protection like the suit below that will mean I don't need a complete change of clothes after every trip out!


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[Charles Levien]

The main problem from my point of view is having to drive everywhere in a mask:



And there is still the problem of the terrible smell of smoke on my clothes when I get back.  So I am planning to try some better protection like the suit below that will mean I don't need a complete change of clothes after every trip out!

Why didn’t you keep all this for April 1st — it’s only a few days to go !

[Colin Morgan]

I don't really wear a mask!