Not seen one like this before...

[Reckless Rat]

I agree Duncan. I have told the kids I want a headstone with "Here lies Bruce Lindsay, and he's bloody annoyed"

[Malcolm Parker]

My headstone will read 'What are you looking at?'

Many years ago Steve and myself were sitting at the start line at a sunny VSCC Prescott and we noted that all the benches had been presented by various people with little brass plaques to commemorate  the donor.
We decided that when we snuff it we would present Prescott with a similar bench, the brass plaque would read 'KEEP OFF!'

[Duncan Grimmond]

I think my favourite epitaph was Spike Milligan's "I said I was ill"
Did anyone see the plaque on a commemorative seat which, as per the instructions in his will, read
"A.N Other used to sit here and shout F*ck Off to the seagulls" but with a u not an asterisk
The council insisted the plaque was either altered or removed

[Mick Hanna]

Mine will read 'The only way I'm leaving this place is in a pine box!'

[Gordon Puzey]

If my wife is in charge of my headstone it will read "I told you to go to the doctor"

[Mike Costigan]

Back up for sale, now with 'genuine Ulster' provenance 

https://www.carandclassic.com/auctions/1...ter-nAoxP8

[austin]

Back up for sale, now with 'genuine Ulster' provenance 

https://www.carandclassic.com/auctions/1...ter-nAoxP8

I emailed them and told them it had nothing to do with an Ulster and they said they have updated the description.

[Erich]

Who writes these advertisements? "Unmonitored expenditure", Ha, ha, ha!

Erich in Mukilteo

[Ivor Hawkins]

I would have expected a high compression head at least…

It’s a shame its original registration number has been lost, but at least it is still here!

[Tony Griffiths]

Who writes these advertisements? "Unmonitored expenditure", Ha, ha, ha!

Erich in Mukilteo

My favourite BS sentence is: "Recently replaced steering wheel to a period correct Austin 7 three-spoke aluminium type."
The writer could just have used AI and produced an even more over-the-top description: 
"Behold the resplendent tapestry of this illustrious gem, a symphony of historical resonance woven with meticulous care. Within its annals lie an impeccable history file adorned with invoices that tell tales of a bygone era, each entry a delicate brushstroke on the canvas of time. Accompanied by captivating photographs, this opulent record unfurls the narrative of a masterfully restored embodiment of automotive artistry.
The silhouette of this exemplar is a marvel to behold, its bodywork a testament to the harmonious marriage of form and function. A recent renaissance has bestowed upon it a rejuvenation that transcends mere restoration, leaving its body resplendent with an exquisite allure that commands the gaze of connoisseurs and enthusiasts alike.
Yet it is the countenance of this marvel that truly bewitches the beholder. The visage it presents to the world is a symphony of uniqueness, an idiosyncratic front end bodywork that stands as a reverie of design unmatched by its contemporaries. A beguiling anomaly, this front end bestows upon the Austin Seven an air of enigmatic individuality, an embodiment of automotive haute couture.
THE ENCHANTMENT OF APPEAL
Enter the realm of the Austin Seven, a chariot that captured hearts across the rolling hills of the United Kingdom from the dawning of 1923 to the twilight of 1939. Reverently christened the "Baby Austin," it beckoned a golden age of motoring, where the dream of unfettered exploration found its wings on the wheels of this diminutive titan. Like the storied Ford Model-T of American lore, the Austin Seven whispered promises of liberation, inviting adventurers to traverse realms unreachable by the confines of public conveyance.
For the privileged few who could grasp the reins of this wondrous machine, a symphony of escapades unfurled before them, a symposium of exhilaration and discovery. The open road sang its siren song, and the Austin Seven answered with a chorus of tireless wheels and wind-kissed journeys.
In this captivating embodiment, a tableau of elegance and distinction unfolds. Adorned with front fenders that stand as sentinels of grace, it reveals a front end exquisitely uncommon, a whisper of bespoke craftsmanship in a world of conformity. Each contour bespeaks a devotion to preservation that knows no bounds, a symphony of care and unwavering stewardship that spans the gulf of time.
A TALE WRITTEN IN HISTORY AND PAPER
A parchment of antiquity unfolds, revealing a tale etched in the ink of time. The chronicles begin on a fateful February day in the year 1932 when this chariot first graced the realm of registration. A symphony of legitimacy is attested by the V5C, a testament to custodianship that stands unwavering in the annals of the present.
Time's embrace renders this chariot a sage of the roads, exempt from the temporal constraints of the modern MOT. Resplendent in its metamorphosis, it shed its original white hue for the resplendent attire of Blue during its restoration. A mere three years past, its contours basked in the embrace of British Racing Green, a regal garment meticulously applied by the hands of seasoned artisans.
The vehicle's history is a symphony of care, each note struck in service documented by bills and records. A glimpse into yesteryears is granted through the lens of vintage images, a portal to a bygone era where this Austin Seven embarked on its journey through time.
Its current steward, a guardian of its heritage, has bestowed upon it a tender touch of maintenance, preserving the essence of its mechanical soul. Alas, the ebb of time has led this chariot on shorter sojourns, its road less travelled due to the demands of other endeavours. Yet, its current custodian yearns for nought but a loving abode, a sanctuary where its allure can flourish unabated.
And beneath it all, the chassis stands as a paragon of dedication, stripped, cleansed, and cloaked in ebony splendour. Its condition echoes with the brilliance of excellence, a testament to the artisanal devotion that has sculpted this masterpiece of motion." etc, etc.