AN OLDIE'S LAMENT

[Bob Olive]

Witty ditties are always fun especially about our precious little motors, so I wonder how many of you are familiar with this little gem inspired by Kipling's 'If'...

If you can drive from John o' Groats to Land's End
and not tell lIes about your average speed;
If you can treat the modest 'baby`Seven
With all the care a limousine would need;
If you can thread your way through thickest traffic
Nor cease from caution down the loneliest lane,
Aware that, once removed to realms seraphic
No hen or duck will come to life again.

If you respect your tyres and springs, and soften
What might have been a pot-hole's hideous bump
If you can use the grease-gun well and often
And keep to safety level in the sump;
If you can smoothly change from top to bottom
When faced with 'one in seven' on your route;
If you apply all warnings as you spot 'em
And always give the cross-roads their passing hoot

If you avoid the sins of stunt contrivers,
Of 'cutters-in' and breakers of the code;
If you can bear in mind that other drivers
Are just as much entitled to the road;
In short, if you behave with due discretion
As just one item in a mighty host
You'll be if I may give my impression
A DASHED SIGHT BETTER MOTORIST THAN MOST.